THE MOMENT OF DISCONNECTION
There was a point in my life where I was simply moving through the motions existing but not truly living. I was doing all the “right” things on paper: working out religiously, showing up for my business, and checking every box. Yet, my body and mind felt completely disconnected. I was gaining weight despite my constant effort, endlessly sitting in doctor’s offices searching for answers that never seemed to come. My self-confidence had hit an all-time low.
But even in that fog, something inside me began to whisper that there was more. I started seeking healing in ways that felt deeper than medicine through reiki sessions that reawakened my energy, and breath work practices that helped me reconnect to my own body. For as long as I can remember, taking care of myself has always mattered deeply to me. And as I started to evolve spiritually, mentally, and emotionally, I noticed how misaligned my relationship was. My partner seemed content staying where they were, never curious about growth or healing, while I was beginning to crave more from life.
That realization was painful but powerful. It forced me to confront a truth I had long ignored, that I had been a lifelong people pleaser, always putting others’ needs ahead of my own. I was a textbook Type A perfectionist, working hard for everyone else’s happiness but forgetting to nurture my own.
THE BREAKING POINT: LISTENING FOR THE FIRST TIME
The turning point came unexpectedly on a trip to Montana for a writing retreat. I went there searching for inspiration, but what I found was far more profound, a reconnection with myself. Between the quiet mountains, endless sky, and pages of journaling, something in me began to shift. One day, I visited a horse farm, and despite always being a little afraid of how massive and powerful horses were, I felt drawn to them. I learned that horses are among the most intuitive creatures; they sense energy, emotion, and truth without a single word. Spending time with them felt like therapy and showed me what I was missing within myself.
When I returned home, I shared the experience with my reiki healer. She immediately told me about a friend of hers, an equestrian healer named Leah and suggested I book a session. So, I did. On a freezing January day, I found myself standing in a quiet barn in Ipswich, Massachusetts, face to face with Leah and her horse, Saint.
For our first session, Leah told me the best way to begin building trust with Saint was through brushing him, a grounding, therapeutic act for both of us. As I brushed his coat, Leah and I talked about why I had come and what I wanted out of life. It was in that conversation surrounded by the stillness of the barn and the sound of Saint’s breathing that I realized the things I was yearning for were what I deserved. I just was not giving myself permission to want them.
Then Leah began to tune into the energy between Saint and I. As I continued brushing, tears streamed down my face uncontrollable, unfiltered, and raw. Though we had just met, I felt completely seen. Leah told me she saw a vision: me floating down a river, trapped inside an ice cube, trying desperately to break free as the ice kept freezing over. My breath caught. That was exactly how I had been living stuck, cold, and paralyzed by fear.
At that moment, something clicked. I finally understood that I could not keep choosing comfort over growth. Not long after that session, I made one of the hardest decisions of my life. I asked my husband for a divorce. For the first time in years, I chose myself.
THE HEALING JOURNEY: RELEARNING SELF-TRUST
Throughout my healing journey, one quote carried me through: “Be comfortable being uncomfortable.” I repeated it often, like a mantra, because growth isn’t meant to feel easy. It is messy, emotional, and demanding but it’s also where transformation happens. I had to accept that rebuilding my life would take time, patience, and a whole lot of grace.
As I began doing the inner work, something remarkable happened, my outer world began to change, too. I went through a major physical transformation, losing the weight that my body had been holding on to for years. I came to realize that my body was not working against me; it had been protecting me. The extra weight was a form of armor, keeping me safe during seasons when I didn’t feel emotionally secure.
In this new chapter, I spent more time with myself than I ever had before journaling, reading, moving my body, and surrounding myself with people who made me feel loved. There were still hard days there always are, but I learned to anchor into one simple truth: I will always have me, and that’s something I can bet on.
I also found deep healing through movement especially in my spin community. The bike became my therapy chair. I cried, laughed, and danced through emotions I didn’t even know I was still holding. And in that room, surrounded by others chasing their own breakthroughs, I discovered the power of community and the reminder that even when we ride alone, we are never truly alone.
THE TRANSFORMATION: COMING HOME TO YOURSELF
Looking back, I see that every uncomfortable moment, every tear, every leap of faith was guiding me home to me. The version of myself who once felt trapped, disconnected, and unsure slowly began to transform into someone who finally felt free. Not because life got easier, but because I stopped abandoning myself.
Trusting my intuition has become my daily practice, the quiet voice I return to when things feel heavy or uncertain. I’ve learned that intuition doesn’t always make logical sense, but it always leads you toward alignment. Now, when I feel those familiar waves of fear or doubt, I remind myself: I have been here before. I know how to get back home.
My life today isn’t perfect but it’s real. It’s grounded in peace, self-awareness, and purpose. I still have days when I stumble, when I question, when I need to pause but the difference is, I no longer look for answers outside of myself. I’ve learned to trust that the guidance I need is already within me.
Coming home to myself meant releasing who I thought I should be, and embracing who I already am. It meant letting go of timelines, expectations, and the illusion of control. It meant choosing peace over perfection.
Intuition isn’t something you find, it’s something you remember. It’s realizing that you have had the map all along. You are your own compass, and no matter how far you wander, you can always find your way home.
Let’s stay in touch,
Samantha Giordano
Check out how I turned my intuition into a brand at www.intuitionkicks.com
Connect with me on social media @samanthat_gio and follow @intuition_kicks